Bubble an' Squeak

The first (and only) time I saw the Mediterranean Sea, I ran down the pebbled shore to the ocean, rolled up my jeans, and waded out into the sea.  It was one of the very few times I left Lille without a solid plan, or a hostel reservation. I arrived at night and took a taxi to the hostel to find there were no beds left. I distinctly remember the drive, the taxi, and the hostel that turned me away. I can't really remember where I ended up staying that night. While living in France I had made it my goal to see as much of France as I could. Unlike other students who traveled often to other countries, I only occasionally did this. Focusing instead on seeing France well because I did not know if I would ever return. Southern France and the Mediterranean was a must-see on that list. I don't know how or why I settled on Nice, but I did. It was one of the more adventurous train rides in my time there because it was just a little too close, with too many transfers to be easily be an ove...

 My word of the year for 2024 is 'Seek.' I chose this word out of a continued desire to pursue some aspect of spirituality in my life. Circumstances in the last 8 years have definitely impacted my beliefs and where I think I belong spiritually.  Growing up Catholic I have long heard the wonders of the Catholic Faith in Spain. Some of my best and deepest spiritual experiences in 1997 came from my spiritual encounters in Lourdes and Rome. I had long thought about how wonderful it would be to visit Fatima and walk the Camino de Santiago . So when Nic and I originally talked about this trip these locations were at the top of my list. They seemed to fit into the work I am trying to do spiritually. The memories of the pilgrimages I had taken years ago make me long for a similar experience.  However, a little research into Fatima has shown me that it is not maybe the location to find my answers. I am still thinking about and reading up on Camino de Santiago. This is something t...

  "It seems that the more places I see and experience, the bigger I realize the world to be. The more I become aware of, the more I realize how relatively little I know of it, how many places I have still to go, how much more there is to learn." ~Anthony Bourdain Due to lots of meetings yesterday, admin offered a reprieve this morning. This meant I lay in bed later than usual and stared at the voyager blue ceiling in my bedroom. The seagull mobile over our bed gently twisted on an unseen breeze. Outside the February sun peeked in between the crack of our dark curtains. These extra moments motivated me to jump up and make a few slides for my teaching today, and to book a rental car in Spain.  My goal before we go is to pay for as much as we can before the flights take off. This prevents   helps with the post vacation hangover in July. I also believe that we are saving money by booking early and planning ahead. I have no idea if that is really true, but I suspect it is. We ...

Rather than celebrate Valentine's Day with flowers, chocolate, and dinner out, Nic and I bought plane tickets! Because the timing of this purchase has fallen in the midst of some challenging logistics financially, I have not said much about this trip. Both Nic and I were shocked by the cost of the plane tickets and we have spent the better part of a week recovering from the shock. I am not sure Nic will ever quite recover. My best hope is that he forgets.We are truly blessed by amazing people who generously offered their homes to us to stay in while we travel, otherwise we could never manage this trip. Truth be told, I feel a little guilty being able to take this trip. I feel embarrassed to admit we are taking another trip. However, I hope to spend the rest of my life taking trips, so I am not sure how to get around that. It might be a form of survivor guilt. I wake up and open my eyes to this life and I cannot believe I live it. I cannot believe it is MY life. For years I would st...

     The simple wooden floor stretches out toward the mirrors on the east wall. Soft lights illuminate the space between my thumbs as I gaze down, while simultaneously pushing myself up into the upside-down V that is downward facing dog. And I breathe. Softly in through my nose, and out of my mouth. The wheeze at the back of my throat is barely audible.  I inhale the space between the lavender walls. I hold the air in lungs that feel stretched to capacity.  My bare toes arch up into heels that are tied to hamstrings and calf muscles that are too tight to release to the mat no matter how deeply I breathe. Bright blue toenails peek up cheerfully from the mountaintop scene depicted on my white yoga mat.  Hugging my muscles to the bone, I am small. I have spent my life trying to be small - as small as possible. If one is successful at being small, they might even become invisible. To be invisible would be the best protection ever, except that I am also clumsy. ...

 Spring 2008 I started blogging in April of 2008. At the time blogging saved my life. I don't mean that dramatically. I mean it actually saved my life.  I started blogging because I hated my life and I hated myself and I really, really hated my marriage. It was during that time that I was really toying with how to escape my marriage. However for a lot of reasons, some of which we may discuss here at some point, I chose to stay. Staying was really only made possible by my mostly LDS friends (and non-LDS family) from high school who also blogged. I think it may have been an LDS trend among stay-at-home-moms at the time to have a blog. Their stories about their families and their love held me together and helped me make sense of the life I was trying to build. I wanted the life they had. They had loving husbands and the perfect houses with cute hand-crafted items; they cooked amazing meals and baked while loving their kids and being amazing mothers and women. Inspired by their de...

Less than twenty-four hours after I returned from camping, I packed these faces - plus Gabe and James into the car and we headed West. It has been more than two years since I have been in Flagstaff and it was a much needed visit to my roots and my family. I chose the hottest week of the summer to drive across New Mexico and hang out in Arizona. My family is not the 'hang out by the pool' sort of family. Rather they are the 'run as many miles as you can in scalding heat' kind of family. So we did. And we were super hot, but it was fun too. I have been knitting this scarf for my mom for a few months with yarn that her sister gave me years ago before she passed. I was happy to give my mom a bit of her sister back. Outside of roasting in the heat and running, we had to fuel all of these bodies. This means that we spent a great deal of time in grocery stores and Sam's Club. These are the rules, friends. Run a lot, you need food. And drinks. Not to be outdone by his siste...