July 1

We woke up today a little steadier, a little less grumpy, and dehydrated. We also woke up with a little bit of buyer's regret. Bella bought the coolest fanny pack. Sadly it sucks. It was only $15, but it was sad to learn the zipper doesn't really zip, and the sewing didn't really sew all that well. But we used it anyways. It held up, mostly.

As we faced the day, the bed bugs, my weird rash, and the grasshopper who landed on my face in the night, Bella asked if the bar was open. I said no, and ordered two coffees. Her argument was that she should be as numb as possible to avoid facing this day and all of its horrors. She also asked if she could sleep in the van, or tell Juan Carlos. I compromised by telling the front desk.

Our day was supposed to be very busy. We planned to do the hanging bridges of the Cloud Forests of Monteverde. The focus for today's walk was really the vegetation. Following are a lot of pictures of a rain forest.

It was a pretty cool cloud forest though.

We also saw a lot of bugs. I took pictures for Jubilee to see all of the bugs, but I don't think she will mind if I share them here. We saw some pretty cool bugs.

We are in such a beautiful place that the flowers fall upon the ground in a blanket.

The trees are still super cool.

As we enter the hanging bridges you can see they are very high up. I feel like Bilbo in Mirkwood as he looked over the tops of the trees searching for the exit. There is forest as far as the eye can see.

We looked down from the bridge onto the forest.

There we are! Monteverde Cloud Forest.

The bridges in Monteverde were much longer than in La Fortuna.

But it was much more relaxing and calm. The forest was quiet and calm. Each step we took was met with quiet, soft rain.

Bella and I enjoyed the mushrooms on this walk so much.

For people who think about these things, I recorded the length and height of each bridge. I think Nic will ask, and now I will have an answer.

We spotted an orchid in the wild. Ron and I were so excited!

Sharika found a bug, of course.

The Japanese culture has a term for this much time in the woods; it is called forest bathing. Bella and I have done a lot of forest bathing these days. Not a lot of sun bathing, but a lot of forest bathing. It has brought me so much peace and beauty. I love my walks with Nic in the backwoods, but I also really loved this too. I only wish he were here with me to experience this too.

After forest bathing, we headed into Saint Elene, where we found this little shop. It is significant because it is my former mother-in-law's last name. Who knows, maybe we were within feet of one of Bella's relatives today?

Rather than find out, we went and ate a burrito because we finally, and desperately needed food. Bella. had a spicy margarita with her burrito. She must be feeling better. :)

We also popped into the Orchid Garden again to see the one-blooming orchid. This flower only has 24 hours to be pollinated.

It was so beautiful.

We also saw this pretty bird with his happy, bright head.

And this sweet butterfly.

And this beautiful butterfly too!

As always, I need my daily flower dump.

As we have toured Monteverde, I have come to learn a lot about this area. I had no idea that the Society of Friends had an important role in the development of Monteverde. It has added a dimension to my understanding of the culture of this community. It also makes sense that this group of people found a home in the peaceful Costa Rica.

I have also come to see why Rosa wanted to leave Costa Rica. Not because I think it is bad place to live, but because I think Costa Rica is a hard place to live if you are poor. I know that she was poor. I know that her education was poor, and that her childhood was unhappy. As we go from place to place and see new parts of this country, I wonder how much of this country she actually saw while she lived here. I understand that I am so privleged to travel here and there. She told me stories of standing on a chair to cook dinner as a child because her father had died. She was the youngest child and he died before she was born. Gabriel carries his name with him every day. Rosa told me that because her mother had to work when her father died, and that cooking for the family became her responsibility as soon as she could stand at the little stove and make the rice and beans.

Love is complicated. I desperately wanted to be loved by that family. I tried so hard to be the best I could be in order to meet the expectations of the family. Knowing I could never, ever meet those expectations has been a great sorrow of my life. Of all of the people in the world, Rosa should have understood my life and myself and where I found myself. Yet, despite all of the year, and the attempts, and the tears, I was still not enough. I was always the shoe that did not quite fit, no matter how hard I tried to make it fit. I wish she loved me. I wish she loved my kids enough to stay. I wish love were strong enough. It continues to be one of the hardest sorrows I face; she walked away from the kids. Forever. I also understand the cost of staying, the price for standing up. A part of me understands. Maybe.

I also look at the Tico people and I see my children in them. I see their features reflected softly back at me in the people's faces. Many people expect Bella to speak Spanish, and they sort of assume she is one of them. It is funny when they connect us to each other. Because I am clearly the one who does not belong in the picture.

After our delicious burritos, we came back to the hotel to prepare for our ziplining tour. However, as headed to our room, the lightning struck, the rain poured down in a passionate storm. Juan Carlos told us that our zipline was postponed until tomorrow. Bella and I were quite happy with the delay as this gives us a little more time for our tummies to settle. I do wonder who will fall ill next?

The Family is doing well overall. Jenny had some cream for my rash (Of course she did). Jeff and John and Jenny bonded over Pina Coladas and military experience and will soon have matching tattoos. Jeff did not tell Carmen/Candace that the zipline had been cancelled and decided to day drink with John and Jenny. Jeff is 'sure she won't mind.' TG had two dinners, or as he calls it, 'a snack.' Sharika was out in the front trying to catch a hummingbird. Juan Carlos had some strong coffee with bald man. Ron and I drank white wine, while Bella drank Happy Hour specials. Tonight is our last night as a 'family.' who know what will happen next...

Our night is ending quietly, filled with rain, and bed bugs - apparently.