Skip to main content

Seville

 June 30


The bad news is that I did not meet Ricky Martin. I am 90% sure I saw his security detail with their walkie talkies, but I did not take pictures of them because it seemed rude, and not like real evidence anyway.

More bad news: Tomorrow is our last day in Europe. 

In better news we spent today at the Seville Cathedral.


It is the third largest Cathedral in the world.



It felt massive on the inside.Nic and I spent several hours wandering the various side alters, back rooms, and sitting in the wonder of the main cathedral. We wandered up the bell tower to very top and peered down on Seville.








In the soft light of the cathedral, and among the hushed voices, a sense of awe pervades the space. Throughout this trip we have seen former mosques, lots of churches, places of prayer and sacrifice. In each ot these spaces the human interaction with the divine, or the seeking of the divine is palpable. It leads me back to my word of the year: Seek. I have been seeking answers to questions I have had over the years, but especially in the most recent years. 





I don’t think I lack faith, or that I lost faith. Faith is something that has always come easily to me. In the years that my life was really hard, I leaned on my faith. My faith pulled me through my darkest moments, but the question I land on is to what end? I counted on my faith to save my marriage, to protect myself and my kids, and it did not. All the years I prayed for help with the marriage I had inside the Church, the marriage the was blessed with the Sacrament - that was supposed to have Grace, my heart was broken. When I met Nic and decided to marry him, I knew I could not marry him in the Church. Yet this marriage that is supposedly without the Grace of the Sacraments has healed my soul. This man has gently, imperfectly, and carefully loved me. The only happiness and healthy relationship I have had in my life has not been blessed by the Church.











This love, and me, we stand on the other side now. I peer through the veil of what I used to have in my Catholic life and I miss parts of it. I miss being part of the team. I miss my community. I miss the awe and wonder. Some people say to me, “You can still be Catholic. You can decide what that looks like for you.”

I know they mean well, but I know better. I was raised inside the strictest interpretation of Catholicism. In that interpretation there is no loosy-goosey self-determination of Catholicism. You are, or you are not. I cannot do anything in halves. 








I am not angry. I am sad. I am respectful. I remember, and I forget. This has allowed me to be more open in general to people and ideas previously unimaginable to me. Teaching has done that too. Brene Brown has a quote saying, “People are hard to hate close up. Move in. Speak truth to bullshit. Be civil. Hold hands. With strangers. Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart.”






The original mosque walling that the Catholics took over and mostly eradicated.


Tomb of Christopher Columbus. One person we all wish had NOT moved in. Toxic Chel really loves Christopher, which was weird for all of the Americans in the group.



I stand outside mosques and I see God’s work. I stand inside Seville Cathedral and I see God’s work. Inspired by the love of God, mankind creates such beauty. People are hard to hate close up. Move in. I find beauty and wisdom in all people. I am still looking for God. I am still seeking. I am curious and filled with wonder by all the people of the earth. I am equally humbled and filled with pain and sorrow at the fact that life is hard, and unfair, and hurts. More than anything, I am thankful for the opportunity to see this world, and experience these things, to be able to be closer to people. To move in.






Nic taking a pano of the ceiling. He got a lot of stares.






 It was overwhelming and overstimulating and incredible all at the same time. when we had finished Nic needed tea. I needed to wet my whistle too.





So we went back to the super fancy hotel where I almost knocked over the former president of Spain and hoped to see Ricky Martin. Instead we had some wine and tea and great ambiance. On the way back to the hotel I insisted on ice cream, which Nic ate most of. 

We are, once again, in the hotel lobby watching England lose an important soccer game. Nic has really enjoyed being able to sit with other tourists from all over the world watching soccer. It has been a unifying experience. I am happy to sit and write and upload pictures. 

Nic is hoping for ox tails for dinner. I am hoping for something I can eat. Do NOT follow us for food advice while traveling. As we wrap things up, I have some thoughts to share, but not yet. I am still percolating and trying to be in this moment instead of looking backwards - yet.

Tomorrow will be a long day in the car as we drive to Madrid. We have an early flight on the second back to the States. When I land I have a whirlwind of laundry and packing and heading back out to my parents’ house where my siblings will meet me. 






Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Fab Days in Florida - Tampa

Let me preface this post/trip with this disclaimer: We are not Florida people. (Nothing against Florida people. I know some Florida people and I love them. I just have a complicated relationship with Florida). We are, however, Scottish people. When we learned the Scots would be in Florida this spring, we made the decision to go to Florida. I had never been, and Nic had not been for years and years. So, another adventure was in store for us. Nic and I awoke early (WAY early) on Wednesday morning to catch a flight to Tampa, where we planned to meet up with our Scottish family for five fab days of Florida.  Things at work have been hard for both of us, so we came to this holiday so ready to relax, and very thankful that Paddy is an excellent trip planner. We travelled from Tampa to Kissimmee, where their daughter was playing tennis. Our afternoon was spent lying by the pool, soaking up the sun, and quickly catching up. We planned to pop down to Cocoa Beach to see the launches. Paddy h...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Blind Leading the Blind Tour ~ June 2026 ~ Coming Soon

  Who : This gang (minus my dad, who has informed us he is never leaving the country again).  Only my sister does not have r etinitis pigmentosa , and my dad, who is not going.  Not to disparage my in-laws, Jennie, Sharon, Scott, Mae, and my husband, Nic, are all coming, too. They can all see, too. It just sounds more dramatic to tell you the blind people are going. It seems anti-climatic to include people who can see. Still, the blind are almost the majority. When : June 2026 Where : Paris, France Why : Because we have to go while we can still see. This is the first official post of The Blind Leading the Blind Tour because although we have been dreaming about this,   WE ARE OFFICIALLY GOING. Consider this the official announcement of The Blind Leading The Blind Tour. Included in this trip are seven full days with this cast of characters (minus Dad) and their better halves. Nic and I will have a Side Quest. Each of my siblings will have their own side quests, bu...
Post a Comment
Read more

2026 ~ Word of the Year

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness.” –Desmond Tutu In my annual tradition of choosing a word for the year, I found myself this morning reflecting on last year's word: Well . Unfortunately, last year (yesterday and the 364 yesterdays before that) was a bit of a train wreck.  In a brief review and update of some of the goals and ambitions I put forth last January: We did not go to Vietnam or Alaska. Neither of those were real goals, more manifestations for the future.  We did focus on the house. We updated my office, installed new HVAC for the house, painted the living room, and we are in the process of redoing the downstairs bathroom to practice for the upstairs bathroom. When I say, 'we,' I mean Nic. I have stood by and nodded throughout these projects and consulted on colors. Nic has done all of the work. I worked hard on getting back to running my usual mileage. I improved my overall health. I am proud of the work I have done physicall...
Post a Comment
Read more