Skip to main content

Generational Love

The found photo album hovers in the back of my mind. It is a nagging thought. While doing yoga this morning, I spotted it hanging over the edge of my desk under a pile of curriculum books, calling to me. Reminding it is sitting there waiting for me to think about it. 

The red leather cover cracks open to reveal a photo of a woman on the beach in Camden, Massachusetts. I know it is Camden because careful red pen indicates this just above the photo. She is smiling, with beautiful dimples, hair tousled by the beach breeze. In her hands is what appears to be a fake lobster, or at least a dead one due to the proximity of his claws to her hands. She is wearing a camel colored turtleneck, and blue jeans. The beach looks unremarkable behind her. 

Yellowed scotch tape at the bottom of the page indicates someone has tried to hold these photos in place as the plastic sheeting began to fail. The first three pages have torn and their pictures slip easily out. The rest of the album is in good shape, despite its age.

As I study the book, a picture slips loose to reveal more information, "Maine & the Northeast Summer 1984." When I showed Dan the photo of the lobster he said it looked like Maine. I corrected him. Massachusetts, but lo, I was possibly wrong. Page one is of both Maine and Massachusetts, and the entire Northeast. 

The truth is this album is unremarkable. Middle aged in the photos, these people must be elderly now. This album holds one year of their lives, in which they traveled quite a bit. There are a few pictures of a baby and a small boy. They do not appear to be the children of our main character or her partner. There are a few photos of elderly people, and friends. There are photos of camping, hiking, swimming, and hang gliding. Our friends were adventurous. 

The final photo in the album parallels the first: our main character stands on another beach. This one is in Dana Point. Her hair is again tousled, framing her pretty, dimpled face. The sea rolls in behind her on a much prettier beach.

This item has clearly been cared for, yet it was discarded in the local tiny library. 

I do know a little about old albums from lives before. Photos are complicated. Sometimes they tell a story we aren't ready to read. I look back at the photos of my first marriage and see things in those photos that make my heart ache. Things that should have been so obvious, and are clearly captured on the film and the image before me, but I was blind to for so many years. I still feel physical pain looking at those photos tucked carefully up in my closet for safe-keeping.

When my children were first born, I had little disposable cameras to take their photos on. Money was tight, so each picture was precious. Developing photos was a rare treat for me, and the images were priceless - are priceless to me. I spent hours carefully assembling the photos in order and labeling them so that we would remember the tiny moments, and the big ones, too. Photo albums are a labor of love. they are a time capsule of relationships. And yet, through another person's eyes, they are unremarkable. Would you see how much I love my kids if you opened up their albums? Would they stand out as remarkable to the objective viewer? Of course not. Yet, that love is remarkable; it has shaped me throughout my entire adult life. Would it be clear how much I love Nic if you opened the photos I have of us? Or would we be just like this couple, middle aged, traveling, unremarkable? And yet, it is anything but unremarkable. 

I feel nostalgic holding this time capsule, almost like I have a responsibility to it. What that is has not been made clear. I would much prefer some proper haunting from ghosts of the past than to hold their discarded love in my hands and wonder what happened to them. When we die our photos are thrown out, or left in the community library, and they are forgotten as if they never mattered at all. Our travels, and family, our passionate love affairs - all just sheets of yellowing paper to be cast aside. 

When I think about the purpose of life, my life and those around me, I realize that I will not be more remembered or known than my great-grandparents. Maybe little facts about me might trickle down to future generations, but I hope my legacy will be one of love. If we love well, we give that to our children, and they have a great source of love to draw on for their children, and so on, and so forth. We hear about generational trauma, and generational wealth. We don't often hear of generational love. That's what I am shooting for: a legacy of love. A love that is beyond red photo albums; a love that feeds generations - a love traceable to me.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Five Fab Days in Florida - Tampa

Let me preface this post/trip with this disclaimer: We are not Florida people. (Nothing against Florida people. I know some Florida people and I love them. I just have a complicated relationship with Florida). We are, however, Scottish people. When we learned the Scots would be in Florida this spring, we made the decision to go to Florida. I had never been, and Nic had not been for years and years. So, another adventure was in store for us. Nic and I awoke early (WAY early) on Wednesday morning to catch a flight to Tampa, where we planned to meet up with our Scottish family for five fab days of Florida.  Things at work have been hard for both of us, so we came to this holiday so ready to relax, and very thankful that Paddy is an excellent trip planner. We travelled from Tampa to Kissimmee, where their daughter was playing tennis. Our afternoon was spent lying by the pool, soaking up the sun, and quickly catching up. We planned to pop down to Cocoa Beach to see the launches. Paddy h...

The Blind Leading the Blind Tour ~ June 2026 ~ Coming Soon

  Who : This gang (minus my dad, who has informed us he is never leaving the country again).  Only my sister does not have r etinitis pigmentosa , and my dad, who is not going.  Not to disparage my in-laws, Jennie, Sharon, Scott, Mae, and my husband, Nic, are all coming, too. They can all see, too. It just sounds more dramatic to tell you the blind people are going. It seems anti-climatic to include people who can see. Still, the blind are almost the majority. When : June 2026 Where : Paris, France Why : Because we have to go while we can still see. This is the first official post of The Blind Leading the Blind Tour because although we have been dreaming about this,   WE ARE OFFICIALLY GOING. Consider this the official announcement of The Blind Leading The Blind Tour. Included in this trip are seven full days with this cast of characters (minus Dad) and their better halves. Nic and I will have a Side Quest. Each of my siblings will have their own side quests, bu...

2026 ~ Word of the Year

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all the darkness.” –Desmond Tutu In my annual tradition of choosing a word for the year, I found myself this morning reflecting on last year's word: Well . Unfortunately, last year (yesterday and the 364 yesterdays before that) was a bit of a train wreck.  In a brief review and update of some of the goals and ambitions I put forth last January: We did not go to Vietnam or Alaska. Neither of those were real goals, more manifestations for the future.  We did focus on the house. We updated my office, installed new HVAC for the house, painted the living room, and we are in the process of redoing the downstairs bathroom to practice for the upstairs bathroom. When I say, 'we,' I mean Nic. I have stood by and nodded throughout these projects and consulted on colors. Nic has done all of the work. I worked hard on getting back to running my usual mileage. I improved my overall health. I am proud of the work I have done physicall...