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Well-ness ~ A mid-year check in

Remember my word of the year? 

In case you forgot, it is Well. 

Here we are just days after school has gotten out and I thought it was high time for a bit of a check-in and some old fashioned accountability. How am I doing, you might ask?

Better than six days ago. But, honestly, not great. Not at all well.

It has been the hardest year of my teaching career. I will spare you the nitty gritty here, but I would say my mental health is not well at all. I loved my job. I love my students, and it has been devastating to experience what our school has gone through this year. I have let it impact me WAY too much. But I don't know how to do things in halves. I teach and I love with all of my heart and soul. It is really, really hard to keep that in a healthy space, especially when school is not a healthy place. 

I landed last week after I packed up all of the books and tidied up my classroom on my couch face down. A little reflection reminded me that I went from a very busy school year in 2024/2025 straight to traveling, and then more traveling, and then I helped Bella paint and redo the house, and then I moved Jamie out of state, and then I moved Gabe into his new place and immediately went back to work - all with a broken femur.

I slept for about three days.

While it feels weird not to run off on our next travel adventure, we are staying home this summer - aside from a trip to Arizona to see family. I don't want to stay home, but I need to stay home. I need to pause and breath and sleep. I need to plant tomatoes, and flowers, and watch them grow. I need to pet my dogs. And so, to be well this summer I am resting. 

Despite the hell-scape of my job, I have done really well on my exercise goals. I started going to the gym or running every morning before work.  Nic hates it, I love it. I love having my workout done before I start my day. It helps me clear my head and think through what I need to do for the day. Since January I have only missed 2 days. All of that work has made my hip so much stronger. I am in less pain, and my mobility is improved. I am one year out from my injury and I am back to running 30 (very slow) miles a week. I am really, really proud of that.

I had a dry January, a damp February, a soaking wet March, a damp April and less damp May. I am back on the wagon for a dry June to help me with more of my wellness goals. 

I think exercise might be the only thing I have done well so far this year. I have not been a great spouse, friend, daughter, mother, or teacher. I have not been a great writer, or knitter, or reader. Despite almost killing myself at the gym I have not lost weight, nor do I look healthier.

Well, that is depressing. 

I want to think those things are just around the corner for me as a human. It is not for lack of trying. I have been reading books on Buddhism, and listening to podcasts. I joined a writing club and a reading club. I have marched in protests, painted rocks, and written spineless congress people. I journal religiously every day. Yes, I bitch about my job a lot in there, but I also am practicing some of the bits of knowledge I am scooping up in my lowly state of humanity. I participate in couples therapy, I love on Nic and the kids - when I can to the best of my ability - which is limited. I do my best with my friends and siblings. 

But, really I just feel like I have been hit by a truck this year. I am trying to pick myself back up, and find a way to find joy in existing in the highly fabulous life I get to live in.

I am sorry for not doing as well as I hoped, or tried to do. I am going to try again to be well.

Goals for this week (Granted is is Wednesday afternoon): 

  • Smile at Nic
  • Dry June
  • Running 5 days per week
  • 2 days of yoga
  • 1 day of weights
  • Finish my book, Braiding Sweetgrass
  • Knit
  • Post on my blog at least two more times this week
  • Call the brothers
  • Go to coffee with Bella
  • Call my mother
That seems like enough to get me started. 

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