Old Man Winter arrived here in Fort Collins rather late. However, he is making up for lost time with the high promising to be 19 degrees and the low -4.
I am thankful to be tucked in my house with no where to go and nothing to do. As the wind whips around the house, I open my scrapbook back up. I thumb through the pages of my trip all those years ago,
I have always known I wanted to go back to France, but it was a loose idea. I wasn't sure how, or when. I just let the wish sit in my heart waiting for the right time. There were many dark years where I did not think I would ever really travel again. My mom brought the idea of going back to France into fruition by informing me that before she dies, she wants to go spend the whole day in the Louvre, to wander, roam, and soak in the experience. This was a bit of a surprise to me. My mom has travelled with her siblings and my dad a few times overseas to Europe. I had no idea that she had strong feelings about going back, or the desire to spend more time in the Louvre
Spending a week in the Louvre would not be enough, as far as I am concerned. But, this was a plan I could get behind. Right away, I was on board. My mom and I drug my siblings on board with minimal kicking and screaming. Alicia spent the first several conversations trying to get us to change our minds and go to New Zealand, or Ireland. Both places are on my list to visit, however neither one is home to Louvre, a key detail in fulfilling this wish for Mom.
Tony stepped in with hiring a travel agent. Tony is an engineer. He likes plans. Tony also actually thinks about the fact that we are vision impaired and traveling together in a large group might present some difficulties. Neither Mom, nor I, had spent much time thinking about this challenge. One key detail in our plan is the use of public transportation. Although we are about 1:1 with sighted people to low vision people, public transportation in Europe seems like a solid plan. So far this is the extent of the plan for the blind people. Also packing canes. That feels important, too. To be clear, only two of us use canes.
Retinitis Pigmentosa is degenerative and it attacks people differently. Although 4/5 of the kids in my family have it, we are each in our individual journey with the disease. It is quite hard for each of us to truly know how bad the others' vision is. We compare our degrees of vision with each other. Most sighted people have 120 degrees of vision. Currently, my vision is about 23 degrees. My left eye is worse than the right. I do not use a cane, nor is my vision bad enough to qualify for insurance to cover assistive technology or training for me.
I grew up knowing my mom had an eye condition, but she always disguised it very well. We did not really speak about it. My mom has always pushed back on seeing her vision as a disability. As each of us confronted our own diagnosis, we have made individual decisions about how to move forward with how we interact within the world while losing our vision.
For the most part, I try to live my life as though I can see whatever everyone else can see. First and foremost because I do not know the difference. I don't know what I can't see. Nic will ask me, "Are you losing more vision?" And, truthfully, I do not know. You do not know what you cannot see.
Generally, when I go through a period of vision loss, I have more bruises, bumps, and stubbed toes. I run into more people and things. Those are usually my best indicators. A few people in my life, Wendy, Amanda, Nic, Stacy, and my kids keep track of how I cross roads, walk in crowded places, run, teach, and grocery shop. Otherwise, I just carry on, because I have too much to see - until I can't.
The agenda is set. The AirBNB is booked for Paris (Nic and I have some work to do on the Side Quest).The cheerful thoughts of this trip together with my husband, my siblings and their people, and my mom are keeping me warm on this very cold January night.
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