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Twinkle

 "Man is his own star; and the soul that can Render an honest and a perfect man, Commands all light, all influence, all fate; Nothing to him falls early or too late, Our acts our angels are, for good or ill, Our fatal shadows that walk by us still." ~ Emmerson

Last week Artemis flew around the dark side of the moon. Because I have been somewhat obsessed recently with all things stars, space and twinkling things, this adventure resonated with me. I followed their wake up playlist alongside NPR, learning all new music. As I ran in the early morning, I would look up at the dark night and think about the Artemis crew, their broken toilet, and the dark side of the moon. 

Nic mused outwardly about what exactly those astronauts were doing up there. As a scientist, he gets way more into the actual science - like numbers, graphs, the Scientific Method. I am more metaphorical. While he ponders their experiments, all I want to know is - will they come home with more stardust? 

I like to imagine them opening the door of their Artemis space craft surrounded in a cloud of sparkly stardust. Maybe they would return home like the characters in Twilight and shine like vampires? Unfortunately, they are now back on earth looking totally normal. Life is full of disappointments.

Because I am obsessed with twinkles and stars, the Universe keeps sending me bits and pieces of poetry and images of stars. I believe that coincidence is not really a thing. I think that when we are tuning into the world around us, it speaks to us in quiet ways. The Art of Noticing. Serendipity. 

"The stars began to burn/ through the sheets of clouds,/ and there was a new voice,/ which you slowly/ recognized as your own,/ that kept you company/ as you strode deeper and deeper/ into the world,/ determined to do/ the only thing you could do - /determined to save the only life you could save." Mary Oliver

I am writing to save the only life I can. But I think I might be doing this rather poorly because I cannot find the words to say what I need to say. I wish I were naturally a sanguine person, but I am not. This does not mean I do not see the blessings in my life, or fail to appreciate them. I think I was just born with a soul that trends toward sadness. Sadness is trustworthy, joy is fleeting.

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